Tuesday, April 2, 2013

basic training

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For the past few months I've gone into survival mode.  I didn't feel well, on every level.  I could tell something was off physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.  I was sick and depressed, and there was nothing I could do but put one foot in front of the other.  Looking back, I wonder if I was reacting subconsciously to the husband's relapse.  We were doing so well...  And even though I couldn't put my finger on it (he seemed fine; we seemed fine), somehow my body knew.  My body and spirit were rebelling.  My soul was fighting, and I didn't even know I was back on the front.

2 comments:

  1. Hugs my friend! Sorry you are struggling. My health has been a mess as well. You are in my thoughts and prayers:)

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  2. It's amazing what we know, deep inside, even though we don't really know. I am always in awe.

    I couldn't find your email address, so I am just posting this here. I have the long story posted in the forum, but I am collecting personal stories to submit to my Stake President when I meet with him on Sunday. We had a conversation last Sunday and when I was pondering afterward (it really left me with some uncertainties because he sees addiction differently than me and I was questioning my research and my experiences, etc) and I felt inspired to compile the stories of some of my sisters in recovery (on the WOPA side) and share them with him. I have been hesitant to share my resources with him because I have been uncertain as to how he will respond and he has some experiences and seems pretty confident in his view. But this time I just feel it with my heart and mind and a clarity that I can't explain. I'm not telling him what to do or believe, I just feel like I need to share with him our realities. We are from all over the world and don't (or didn't) know each other outside of the forum and yet there are so many common threads. The common threads of addiction. Addiction is real and this addiction is powerful.

    Would you be ok with me using your story from your blog? I know this is your personal story and I don't want to use it without getting permission. Please let me know. You can email me at healingbymm@gmail.com Thanks!

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